Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Yen Thamizh Cinemavum Telugu Cinemaakkalum Theatregalil Oduginrana??!!!!! Oru Alasal

1) "Only a girl will know the mind of another girl" (this dialogue can be delivered even by a 70 year old 'girl').

2) The father of the hero of an action movie will be dead. If he is not dead, then he is the villain. But the hero will come to know of this relationship only in the climax (and the
father will turn over a new leaf).

3) Its always the mother of the hero who falls ill forcing the hero to steal to pay for the medicine.

4) The villain's wife never approves of his activities.

5) The hero and heroine can never tell from where a song is coming...They go on looking the wrong way till the song ends.

6) The villain's jeep can never catch up with the hero running zigzag, wounded in the leg and carrying a child.

7) Smugglers invariably keep a diary. Though they have been in the business for ages, their diary never runs into several volumes, it's always a single leather-bound pocket size booklet.

8) When the market-scene has come, can the fight be far behind?

9) During car chases, the cars knock down so many push carts laden with vegetables, newspaper stalls, piles of empty cartons, etc. without any casualty. And when the cars go over a bridge, one of the cars is bound to fall from the bridge. (The hero can get the lorry he is driving leap into the air just by pulling the steering wheel up)

10) If the hero is a police officer, the constable who accompanies him is always a comedian.

11) The heroine, who has been a congenital shrew, will turn into the 'epitome' of Tamil (Telugu etc) culture the moment she catches a glimpse of the hero.

12) All romantic films, one of the following is true:
a) The families of the hero and heroine have a generation's long feud.
b) One of them is rich and the other is poor.
c) They are from different castes/religion.

13) When the hero accidentally knocks down someone or pulls the knife out of a dead man, he is promptly arrested, convicted and sent to prison. But in the climax he mows down hundreds of the villain's henchmen and walks free.

14) The entire police department (if hero is a not a policeman) or the entire police department minus the hero (if hero is a policeman) is corrupt (the comedian-constable is the exception).

15) Policewomen always wear figure 'hugging' uniforms.

16) When the villain attempts to molest the heroine, the hero is always within the earshot and promptly appears in the scene but waits till the heroine's dress is completely torn and till the villain is just going to make it. This is not true when an attempt is made on the modesty of the hero's sister (see 17. below).

17) About the hero's sister, one of the following is true:
She is handicapped / she gets raped and/or killed by the villain / villain's son.

18) The bomb the villain places at the feet of his (tied up) victims has a 500 meter long (or longer) fuse. The time would have been set for 60 seconds but it would still be showing 58, 57... even after 15 minutes. When the hero at last arrives and throws the bomb away (which always happens when there is just 1 sec remaining), the bomb always lands in a
no-mans-land.

19) When the hero is a college student, all his friends are comedians (looking considerably older than the hero himself). None of them (including the hero) has any academic ambitions.

20) When orphaned brothers go towards city, they never make it to their destination together. And always one (or both) of them falls into bad ways. What reunites them at the end may be just anything: a mango mole in the small of the back, the distinct way they scratch the head or dig the nose, the lullaby their mother used to sing, the lockets they manage not to lose over the years or anything as silly.

21) The villain's sidekicks wear 'bizarre' uniforms and ride the same model motorcycles when chasing the hero's car. One by one, all of them are nudged out of the road by the hero. The more intelligent sidekick who avoids the flank of the hero's car and remains behind it crashes into the rear of the car when the hero 'intelligently' applies the brake.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Some of the most deadly PJ's

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all.. it is already built.

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and
three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one
hand.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs.. he sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will wet or sink.. as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple?
A. The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A. It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A. LIQUID.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Ignorance is Bliss

IGNORANCE IS BLISS

The example which am gonna give might be really jocular.

Scene 1:
The Electrical Lab - Final Exam

Mr. X (of course some nervous student) was waiting for his turn to pick up his lot. The lot which he took was he most difficult one ( by Murphy's Law; what is supposedly not to happen will happen. No one will be spared.) X finishes the circuit diagram asap and shows for verification to a staff.

The staff as usual says "What the hell is this? everything is wrong. Go and change the circuit"

Mr. X is stunned and trots back wondering what possibly could go wrong. He makes a correction and again approaches her. This time he really pisses off the lady.

Again he returns dejected. This happens for five times and this guy thought he is history and finally gives up hope. He draws the original circuit back and shows and this time the lady says right. X now becomes an epitome of anger. Sadly this guy bore all the brunt. (There are some teachers who really would like to be sadistic. Is that ignorance or tyrannacy?? God save us.)

Scene 2:

The most difficult part - Circuit Connection

Mr.X races against time to make up for the lost time created by this IGNORANT lady (Let me call the IGNORANT LADY AS Ms.A) He furiously works hard and finally asks the A to check it up. A swiftly comes and says the load has to be in serial connection. X is flustered. If its given that way then its gonna be Chernobyl after turning on the switch. X argues about that but silenced by A.

He was given a direct order to obey her. Poorly Mr.X obliges to it. On hearing this commotion Ms.Z rushes in and examines my circuit. She now starts like an alarm of what the bloody hell am doing. She screamed at the top of her voice "You people have been doing this lab for an year and can't even know this basic idea of not to give the loads in parallel. Do you think you can blow up the lab and escape out".

X has enough and scans for A to vent out his anger and again shouts back " Ms. A only told it has to be given in this fashion. If you want to argue then do it with her. Why harass students like us?"

Z was dumbfounded and thankfully she cross verifies with A. She realizes the mistake at her end and gives the green to X with a broad smile.

Some respite to X and at last due to timely intervention Mr.X is once again saved. before leaving the lab X thanks A with a wry smile and A starts to fume.

This is a real incident and this explains how pathetic a staff can go.